Key Point Eight: Love Without Dependence or Expectations

What you call love, in most cases, isn't actually love. It's dependency, it's need, it's a disguised exchange. You say you love someone, but in reality, what you love is how that person makes you feel. You want me to complete you, to make you happy, to give you security. But when love depends on something, it stops being love and turns into attachment.

True love doesn't demand, control, or expect anything in return. It doesn't say "I love you if you love me," or "I love you because you make me feel good." It's a free love, without conditions, without ties. Doesn't cling or suffer due to the other's absence. He's neither possessive nor manipulative. It simply is.

If you're suffering because of love, then it's not love. It's the desire to possess, the fear of losing, the frustration because the other person doesn't act the way you want. You say you love, but what you really want is for the other person to fit your ideal. You don't love the person as they are, but rather the image you've created of them.

Observe how you interact with others. Do you love or need? Do you accept or demand? If your love depends on the other person acting as you expect, if you suffer when they don't give you what you want, it’s not love—it’s selfishness in disguise.